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Close But No Cigar letra
Jillian was her name
She was sweeter than aspartame
Her kisses reconfigured my dna
And after that I never was the same
And I loved her even more
Than Marlon Brando loved souffle
She was gorgeous, she was charming
Yeah, she was perfect in every way
Except she was always using the word infer
When she obviously meant imply
And I know some guys would put up with that kind of thing
But frankly, I can't imagine why
And I told her, I said
Hey! Are we playing horseshoes, honey?
No, I don't think we are!
You're close! (close!)
But no cigar!
Then I met sweet young janet
Prettiest thing on the planet
Had a body hotter than a habanero
She had lips like a ripe pomegranate
And I was crazy like manson about her
She got me all choked up like mama cass
She had a smile so incredibly radiant
You had to watch it through a piece of smoked glass
I thought after all these years of searching around
I'd found my soulmate finally
But one day I found she actually owned a copy
Of Joe Dirt on dvd
Oh, no! I said
Hey! Are we lobbing hand grenades, kiddo?
No I don't think we are!
You're close! (close!)
Oh, so very close! (close!)
Yeah, baby, you're close! (close!)
So close!
But no cigar!
(Oh, yeah!)
(Oh, no!)
(Oh, yeah!)
(Oh, no!)
(Oh, yeah!)
(Oh, no!)
(All right!)
Julie played water polo
She wore a ribbon on her left manolo
She had me sweating like nixon every time she was near
My heart was beating like a buddy rif solo
And she was everything I've dreamed of
She moved right up to #1 on my list
And did I mention she's a world famous billionare
Bikini supermodel astrophysicist
Yeah, she was so pretty she made charlize theron
Look like a big fat slobbering pig
The only caveat is one of her earlobes
Was just a little tiny bit too big
I said
Hey! Are we doing government work here?
No I don't think we are!
You're close! (close!)
So very, very close! (close!)
Aaw, baby, you're close! (close!)
So close!
But no cigar!
Missed it by that much! (no cigar!)
Ah, yeah! Ah, right! (no cigar!)
Really, really, really close! (no cigar!)
But no cigar!
"Weird Al" Yankovic - Letras
- A Complicated Song
- Achy Breaky Song
- Addicted To Spuds
- Airline Amy
- Albuquerque
- Alimony
- Alternative Polka
- Amish Paradise
- Angry White Boy Polka
- Another One Rides The Bus
- Another Tattoo
- Attack Of The Radioactive Hamsters From A Planet Near Mars
- Avocado
- Baby Got Jack
- Baby Likes Burping
- Barney's On Fire
- Bedrock Anthem
- Belvedere Cruising
- Big And Loud
- Bob
- Bohemian Polka
- Bomb Iraq
- Bomb That Iraqi Boy
- Born To Be Mild
- Buckingham Blues
- Burger King
- Buy Me A Condo
- Cable TV
- Cafeteria Mold
- Callin In Sick Today
- Canadian Idiot
- Captain Underpants Theme Song
- Carnival of The Animals Part 2
- Cats In The Kettle
- Cavity Search
- Cheerios, Apple Jacks, Cheerios
- Chewy
- Chicken Pot Pie
- Christmas At Ground Zero
- Christmas Memories Of "Weird Al" Yankovic
- Close But No Cigar
- CNR
- Cockroachs
- Confessions Part III
- Constipated
- Couch Potato
- Cows With Guns
- Craigslists
- Crampton Comes Alive
- Dare To Be Stupid
- Dead Car Battery Blues
- Do I Creep You Out
- Doctor
- Dog Eat Dog
- Don't Download This Song
- Don't Shoot Mr. Postman
- Don't Wear Those Shoes
- Don't You Forget About Meat
- Dr. Demento Radio Promo
- Dr. Demento's 15th Anniversary Special
- Eat
- Eat It
- Ebay
- Elmo's Got A Gun
- Enter Napster
- Everything You Know Is Wrong
- Eye of The Tiger Parody
- Fast Food
- Fat
- Fatter
- Finale
- First World Problems
- Flatbush Avenue
- Foil
- Frank's 2000" TV
- Free Delivery
- Fun Zone
- Gandhi II
- Gee, I'm A Nerd
- Generic Blues
- Genius In France
- George Of The Jungle
- Germs
- Girls Just Wanna Have Lunch
- Goin Huntin
- Good Enough For Now
- Good Old Days
- Gotta Boogie
- Grandpa's A Pornstar
- Grapefruit Diet
- Gravy On You
- Green Eggs And Ham
- Gump
- Hamilton Polka
- Handy
- Happy Birthday
- Hardware Store
- Harvey The Wonder Hamster
- Headline News
- Heart Attack #5
- Hello I Love You Let's Get Tested For AIDS
- Here's Johnny
- Hit Me With A Rock
- Holiday Greetings 1987
- Holiday Greetings 1988
- Homer and Marge
- Hooked On Polkas
- Hooker On A Corner
- Hummingbirds
- I Can't Watch This
- I Feel Like Throwin' Up
- I Lost On Jeopardy
- I Love Rocky Road
- I Ran Over The Taco Bell Dog
- I Remember Larry
- I Think I'm A Clone Now
- I Wanna Be Your Love
- I Want A New Duck
- I Was Only Kidding
- I'll Be Mellow When I'm Dead
- I'll Repair For You ( A Theme For Home Improvement)
- I'll Sue Ya
- I'm An Ugly Girl
- I'm Fat
- I'm So Sick Of You
- I'm The Only Gay Eskimo
- If I Could Make Love To A Bottle
- If That Isn't Love
- Inactive
- Isle Thing
- It's All About The Pentiums
- It's Moldy Now
- It's Still Billy Joel To Me
- Jackson Park Express
- Jerry Springer
- Jurassic Park
- Kermit The Frog On Weed
- Kidstar 1250 Radio Promotion
- King Of Suede
- Lame Claim To Fame
- Lasagna
- Laundry Day
- Leisure Suit Serenade
- Let Me Be Your Hog
- Let's Comc Iraq
- Like A Surgeon
- Livin' In The Fridge
- Livin' La Vida Yoda
- Living With a Hernia
- Llama Song
- Make My Boobies One More Size
- Matter Of Crust
- Melanie
- Midnight Star
- Mission Statement
- Mmmmmmm
- Money For Nothing/Beverly Hillbillies
- Mr. Frump In The Iron Lung
- Mr. Popeil
- My Baby's In Love With Eddie Vedder
- My Bologna
- My Fart Will Go On
- My Girlfriend Died
- My Own Eyes
- Nature Trail To Hell
- Never Met A Person As Wonderful As Me
- Nobody Here But Us Frogs
- Now That's What I Call Polka!
- Now You Know
- Ode To A Superhero
- One More Minute
- One Of Those Days
- Only Gay Eskimo
- Ooby Dooby Dooo
- Oops I'm Pregnant Again
- Oops... I Farted Again
- Pacman
- Pancreas
- Party At The Leper Colony
- Party In The Cia
- Perform This Way
- Pet Names For Genetalia
- Peter And The Wolf
- Phony Calls
- Pigeons
- Polka Face
- Polka Party!
- Polka Patterns
- Polka Power!
- Polka Your Eyes Out
- Polkamon
- Polkarama!
- Polkas On 45
- Poodle
- Pretty Fly (For A Rabi)
- RealRadio 104.1
- Rice, Rice Baby
- Ricky
- Ringtone
- Saddam Hussein (Chumbawumba parody)
- School Cafeteria
- School Cafeteria - Version 2
- Shark
- She Drives Like Crazy
- She Never Told Me She Was A Mime
- She's Gotta Pee
- Since You've Been Gone
- Skipper Dan
- Slime Creatures From Outer Space
- Smells Like Nirvana
- Smoke A Bowl (Coca Cola Parody)
- Snack All Night
- Snails
- Spam
- Spameater
- Spatula City
- Spiderman
- Sports Song
- Spy Hard
- Star Trek Rhapsody
- Star Wars: The Saga
- Steak Number 3
- Stop Dragging My Car Around
- Stop Forwarding That Crap To Me
- Stuck In A Closet With Vanna White
- Such A Groovy Guy
- Syndicated Inc.
- Tacky
- Taco Grande
- Take Me Down
- Take Me To The Liver
- Take The "L" Out Of Liver
- Talk Soup
- That Boy Could Dance
- The Ballad Of Kent Marlow
- The Beer Song
- The Biggest Ball Of Twine In Minnesota
- The Brady Bunch
- The Check's In The Mail
- The Devil Went Down To Jamaica
- The Great Mighty Poo
- The Hot Rocks Polka
- The Jedi Song
- The Night Santa Went Crazy
- The Plumbing Song
- The Rye Or The Kaiser (Rocky XIII Theme)
- The Saga Begins
- The Vagina Song
- The Weird Al Show Theme
- The White Stuff
- This Is The LIfe
- This Song Is Just 6 Words Long
- Tmz
- Toothless People
- Traffic Jam
- Trapped In The Drive-Thru
- Trash Day
- Trigger Happy
- Truck Drivin' Song
- Twister
- Ugly Girl
- UHF
- Velvet Elvis
- Virus Alert
- Vulture
- Waffle King
- Wannabe Stormtropper
- We Got The Beef
- Weasel Stomping Day
- Weenie In A Bottle
- What If God Smoked Cannabis
- Whatever You Like
- When I Was Your Age
- Which Backstreet Boy Is Gay?
- Which Bsb Is Gay? (The Complete Version)
- White & Nerdy
- Who Let The Cows Out?
- Whole Lotta Lunch
- Why Does This Always Happen To Me?
- Windows 95 Sucks
- With Legs Wide Open
- Won't Eat Prunes Again
- Word Crimes
- Yackety Yack Bomb Iraq
- Yoda
- You Don't Love Me Anymore
- You Don't Take Your Showers
- You Make Me
- You're Pitiful
- Young, Dumb & Ugly
- Your Horoscope For Today
- Your Horoscope For Today (love Hina)
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